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Just Put Your Feet Down, Child

This father's day post by intertribal really touched me. Partly because the song, Winter is a lovely one, and is some of Tori Amos' best early work. But also because it reminds me that it's been some years since the old man passed away. And I haven't thought much about him lately. Which is a shame.

Towards the end, with my mother entirely gone (Parkinson's dementia over eleven years—she went through three distinct personality changes) but still present, he was very lonely. Our relationship shifted from father-son to compatriots. Kind of like old friends with personal history and areas where neither of us tread on each other's toes. I think it brought out some of his better side. He was a better friend than a father, and I always felt like he never really wanted to be a father and was just waiting for us to grow up so that he could deal with us as adults. In the end, I think that was one of his greatest bequests to me—the ability to see him for the man he was, not some permanent authority-figure. The only thing he really wanted for his children was to be independent and to think our own thoughts, even when they severely contradicted his, which they inevitably did. But we never lost that sense of civility that his beloved country has now lost entirely.

He believed in America. He believed strongly in the ability of people of rational nature to be able to live together, be friends even, despite their differences. And he loved life passionately. But I'm sorry to say there was never a real bond between us. We were just too different temperamentally, and came from different times and different realities.

So I don't have a music video to sum things up. But there is a song that always reminds me of him. So, I'll share that instead. Enjoy.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
asakiyume
Jun. 20th, 2011 03:34 pm (UTC)
Light tune and melancholy words. If that's not life, I don't know what is.

((hugs))
barry_king
Jun. 20th, 2011 09:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks. Life is good, if a little sad. And that's OK.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )