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Got an inside scoop about the casting for a version of Waiting for Godot that involved three hobbits sitting inside those personal saunas, you know, the kind that zip up into a box with your head sticking out? Yes, those. Instead of trashcans.

But Cara Sposa and I were late for Hungarian 101, which was on the fifth floor. Little did we know, but the baroque green-marble building only did even floors on one side, and odd floors on the other (where the theatre with the empty saunas, waiting for their dose of hobbity goodness). We split up, and I found the professor's office. He wasn't in, but there was a device on his desk that plugged into the wall and seemed like 1/2 a telephone, the part that is not the receiver. There was a grated opening on top, as if for a speaker, but it started bubbling water, which ran all over the desk as the device gurgled and burped at me.

Out in the hallway, there was a can of snuff on the floor. Empty, but if you placed it in your hand like a puppet, it could be used as a ventriloquist's dummy. I attempted some hungarian phrases while walking quickly to the classroom, but a fly flew into my throat, choking me, and I woke up.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
trillium_flower
Jul. 24th, 2011 11:50 pm (UTC)
There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.
I dunno why she swallowed that fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a spider,
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly -
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a bird;
How absurd, to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly -
Perhaps she'll die

There was an old lady who swallowed a cat.
Imagine that, she swallowed a cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die

There was an old lady who swallowed a dog.
What a hog! To swallow a dog!
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat...
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a goat.
Just opened her throat and swallowed a goat!
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog ...
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a cow.
I don't know how she swallowed a cow!
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat...
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog...
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat...
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wiggled and wiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a horse -
She's dead, of course.
barry_king
Jul. 25th, 2011 12:52 am (UTC)
Of course. But you've had a fly fly down your throat, haven't you?
trillium_flower
Jul. 25th, 2011 01:28 am (UTC)
mmm not a memorable fly at any rate, but a bat shat on me once does that count?

http://trillium-flower.livejournal.com/229931.html
barry_king
Jul. 25th, 2011 01:33 am (UTC)
Well, that's an f-locked post, but if you'd care to let me in...

But either way, once guanoed, always guanoed.
trillium_flower
Jul. 25th, 2011 01:38 am (UTC)
Whoops. I'm using a g+ rss on my nook and can't remember how to unlock it... so here is the entry in its entirety.

On which I pontificate


Twas early morn on the first day of summer. It was raining. A loud thundering rain which caused new plants to quiver. Alas and Alack never fear it is summer and so the rain left as quickly as it had come, still puddles reflecting the early light. When I, battered and weary, went out to sit in the hot tub before going to bed.

Demands for ball throwing were instant, insistant, persistant, and damn annoying, until I produced from seemingly nowhere (i.e. the freezer) a half rack of uncooked beef ribs. Two slices of a well tended cleaver and I was free to slip blissfully into the frothy water. Small bubbles of air caressing my knotted back, jets of relief targeted my toes, and two small streams worked away the worry from the back of my neck. ahhhhhhhh....

But wait! what was the flitting by so fast in the half light? My imagination, or why yes it was a bat. Or 3. I think. And who could blame them for chasing a fine morning snack stirred by the recent rain, as they were still covered in cloak of waining darkness. Small flying insects rising in clusters like cotton candy... for bats. Alright says I, to myself, I am nearly submerged and look nothing like a small flying insect how long can they last. And close my eyes to better listen to The Graveyard book coming from my ipod. Changing my mantra from relax, oba ohm.... to "DONOTFREAKOUTANDRUNTHROUGHTHENEIGHBORHOODSTARKNAKEDSCREAMINGABOUTBATS", which alternated with "I am not a small flying insect".

When next I opened one eye, with which to surreptitiously assess the situation, the sun seems to have broken on this golden dawn. Perchance to get out and go to bed? With assistance from my second eye, I spy a small bat hanging from the near gutter. Maybe not 4 inches in length, its wings perfectly folded against his upturned body. Shoo say I, it is almost light return to your home. Or at least away from the preferred route between me and respectable clothing. Nothing responds the bat. Shooo SHOOO say I, edging closer to frantic flights of fancy. Being brave I sit up and inch closer, attempting to portray big scary white girl, and not concentrated cluster of small tasty flying insects. When out from his nether regions appears an appendage nearly as long as the bat itself. What is this? the doomed white girl says leaning closer as her eyes are so very, very tired.

And that is how I came to be shat upon by a bat at 5:15 on the first morning of summer.

the end
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